Let’s say you have a friend who is a Famous Writer
or a Published Writer or a Writer. (If she calls herself a Writer, you should
too; don’t think a Writer has to have published a book. Also, if she is writing
and taking writing classes, start calling her a Writer even if she doesn’t
refer to herself in this way.) And let’s say you want to be a good friend to
her, the kind of friend that—maybe! Let’s just say!—might see her name in the
Acknowledgments page of a book, or even—oh, wow! –the Dedication Page. Or, we
could just say that you want to support her work and be a good friend. What are
some of the things you could do?
1.
BUY her newly published book. Don’t worry so
much about the “right” way to buy her book, unless she’s a Writer who rails
against giant corporate behemoths (you know who I’m talking about). Just BUY
her book somewhere, off some shelf or some site. DON’T expect her to give you a
free copy. DON’T borrow a copy from your book club friend. DON’T check it out
of the library. True angels will pre-order it from the giant corporate behemoth
so the publisher will feel impressed by sales OR will buy one (or more) copies at
the bookstore hosting her reading. You’re thinking that all this feels obvious,
but there’s a reason it’s number one. The rest are in random order. Oh, and if
there are financial concerns, OF COURSE it’s okay to check out your friend’s
book from the library because number 2 is….
2.
READ her book or work. Buying a book is good,
but giving a book your time and attention is the truest compliment. Maybe your
friend doesn’t have a book yet, but she posted a link on Facebook to an essay she wrote. Yes, it’s easiest to click “LIKE” (which you will do, of course) but
also, click on the link and read what she wrote. Maybe you don’t have to do
this every time if she’s posting a lot of links or if you are the kind of
person who is so important and so busy with your own highly important life…but
read her work from time to time.
3.
COMPLIMENT her work after you read it. You know
how you never tell someone they look fat in that dress they’re already wearing
at the cocktail party? Never tell your Writer friend that her prose is a little
“flaccid” or that her characters are “meh.” Try this instead: “I loved reading
your story/poem/essay/book.” If you can, find something specific you liked—or throw
out some of this phrasing: “it was powerful when….” or “it was masterful how
you….” or just the words “powerful” or “masterful.” Or, return to “I loved
reading your story/poem/essay/book.” She’s not going to quiz you!
4.
SHARE her with the world. Give her work five
stars on Goodreads and Amazon. Write a review that doesn’t give away the
ending. Or simply click on 5 stars…no one’s going to quiz you! Invite her to
your book club, if your book club is friendly and not the kind of club that “hates
everything,” and thank her with a gift card to somewhere good for giving up an
evening writing to spend with your book club. Ask your library to buy her book.
Repost/retweet her writing news that you see on Facebook/Twitter/etc. Read her
book, cover held high, when you ride an airplane or take public transportation.
Tell your other friends about your Writer friend and her great book/great
book-in-progress. Buy your friend’s book to give as a gift; don’t lend your
copy. Offer to host a book party when her book comes out.
5.
ASK questions if you don’t understand her
writing. Don’t be afraid of her poetry if you think you’re not a “poetry
person.” Say something like, “What a beautiful image.” Or say something like, “I
want to understand your poetry better, but I’m not a ‘poetry person.’ What a
beautiful image in the second stanza. Can you tell me a little bit more about how
it works in the poem?” (Note: I’m not a poet. Maybe this is an incredibly
offensive statement. But she is your friend, and I bet she’s doing something
brilliant with that image in the second stanza.)
6.
SHOW UP to her readings and book parties if this
is not a physical hardship (you only have to attend one event per book!). Raise
your hand and ask a question at her reading if no one else does. If she doesn’t
have a book (and even if she does), and she’s reading at an event, maybe bring
a friend or relative to build the audience. (Don’t skip out right after your
friend reads.) If the event has been organized by a literary journal, buy a
copy of the journal and ask her to sign the page where her story/poem/essay
appears. Save this journal in a special place on your bookshelf. Tell her she
looked fabulous! Tell her she did a great job! And if you are this kind of
friend, later, much later, tell her that she read too fast and that you know
the audience would love if next time she could read a little slower.
7.
STEAL her children if you are this kind of
friend. Not forever, but for an hour or an afternoon or a weekend. Give her
some time to write. (I’m using “her” in a general sense, but it seems that
right now, for whatever cultural reason, I do have to add that “her” also means
“his.” Just take those kids somewhere fun and let the Writer parent get some
work done.)
8.
LEND your lovely beach house/mountain cabin/city
pied a terre to your Writer friend so she can finish her novel/collection.
9.
SHARE all
your best stories from childhood and young adulthood and adulthood. Understand
if she writes about these things in her fiction. Understand if she doesn’t.
10. TELL
your Writer that writing is important, that writing matters, that she shouldn’t
give up now, that one day will come the “yes” she’s waiting for. Tell her that
you are proud to “know her when,” that the world needs her unique vision, that
she is an artist. These are not lies, by the way. Tell her this over and over, if
she is a Writer, a Published Writer, or a Famous Writer. Tell her right now.
Note: I fear this might feel written in
self-interest since I have a book coming out! But, really, I wrote it because
this morning I woke up thinking about the many, many friends this Writer has
had along the way who have helped support the work in a multitude of ways.
THANK YOU, everyone!
